Ah, hello there didn't see you come in. Welcome. And, good morning to my Southern Hemisphere audience. And, to you Chinese...for shame. You know what you did! Oh, you know very well. Never knew Shin-Shin had it in her to do such...

Anyway, to the pressing manner this evening, afternoon or morning. There's an epidemic among us. Of biblical, King James version, proportions. A sickness, mental that be, is spreading throughout the great continent of Florida and the United States at large. A madness of sorts that strikes around 12:10 and last until late evening. It's key targets, for some unbeknownst reason are males 18-42, with televisions and/or Internet connections, wireless capabilities and time. This madness is detrimental to society at large and it is trying to decay the fabric of our good-hearted society from within. To achieve this, the March Madness as it has branded itself (it seems the virus/sickness has retained a PR team, a group of corporate lawyers, publicist, stylist and media aggregator. It is to be rendered that this is the first known case of a virus acquiring corporate status. Market watchers had big plans for HIV/AIDS in the late 80s late 90s but little HIV/AIDS decided to go onto third-world countries where hosting a body is cheaper and abundant. Economics, however, are quick to point the niche marketing helped spread their disease but failed to target the most desired demographics which uncoincidentally are males between 18-42. And while cancer has been the IT disease of the decade and has shown to be relentless in its inconvenience and peskiness, it is getting rather old. Critics are already calling the March Madness the disease en vogue. But, If you fall outside the aforementioned range , if you are of the female prerogative, if you align yourself with the gheys, if you are a dog or believe to be special, are special or are related or know Sarah Palin you are safe and you can stop reading this.

Dear Males 18-42, we must stand, altogether now. Dozie, dough, and around we go. After, we must stop being the silent majority. For it is for us, males 18-42 most cool things are invented. Internet; for thou to wachest the sweet porno and play sweet video games and sometimes pwange thou will in poker. Cars; for thou to go fast, in a shiny, aerodynamic rhombus. the iLife; for thou to hear sweet tunes. Let me go as far as the antediluvian, wheel; for thou to create the car and balls to play with. Tits; for thou to play and fondle. Indisputable, air tight argument for why we are the cause to the world's coolest effects. This March Madness is trying to do us in.
First, a waltz. And go. Now, the signs. Roll film... "Hey Doc, How the Heck Do I Know I Have the March Madness?" Starring: Rita Haywood.

-Does your sense of time and purpose become hazy around the third week of March?
-Having rendered personal hygiene is important; do you stop caring about your health and/ or personal hygiene.
-Do have a certain desire to name your children a namesake including "Qu" "De" "La" "Ja" "Ty" or "Sh"
-Are social connections, talking to people, seeing the sun insignificant?
-Do you lie at night and think about me? (Just curious, that's all)
-How much wood would those small birds chuck if it were able to?

If you answered yes to 73.3 percent of the above then you have the March Madness. May Bilas be with you.