The Gators lost. Obviously they can't concentrate since I'm soon to graduate (finals permitting). The beating was painful. Probably the most pain I will ever feel. In fact, I'm sure it will be the most pain I will ever, forever and ever feel. I don;t show it. And no I;m not particularly macho. It's just really, really cold. Inside the apartment, I;m calling it a flat to be trendy, it's easily 60 something degrees. My blood was not built for these temperatures. It's nice but all my socks are dirty. So, my feet are really cold while the rest of my body is really warm. What an anomaly. I gotta thank my now-loser Gator snuggie, that's right! Without the snuggie, who knows where I'll be? Probably frozen in some cave in the Arctic circle. I ma be sad the day I can;t wear my snuggilicious due to global warming. Perhaps, there will be a shorter type of snuggie that goes from your hips to slightly above the knees. I also gotta thank MTVs Jersey Shore for numbing my brain for an hour. It was nothing short of amazing. Thinking about how I was tucked tightly with my snuggie and watching these beings on television arouses sick, sweet pleasures in my penis. Which brings me to my next point:

I saw a commercial that told me to think about giving others something special of nonvalue this Holiday season. I;m a step ahead of you, commercial. I've conjured several gift ideas that can be deemed priceless.

If you're a lady, ohh yeah ladies...this Xmas or whatever the fuck you celebrate you can have a blowjob. TO make it all the more special I can be ready under your tree Christmas morning. Cock-lock and loaded.

I will be offering good friends a kiss on the forehead followed by some obscure Bible passage whispered into the ear; priceless.

For those masochist out there I'll be farting in your faces so you can get pinkeye.

Family members will have the pleasure of my presence for almost a whole day. I am generous.

Also on the table is taking a nap with me and watch a bad movie. Some people are natural givers, like me, so for those individuals I'l provide my body to be cosseted for some time.

I can also give the gift of a smile and positive energy. And as a bonus I can converse and pay you a compliment. For the Techies, get this!, I'll be giving out a free, yes I said free invitation to what? Oh nothing much; just the best e-mail server provider in the freaking universe, Gmail. G-G-G-G Mail is not only down with the youths, as they say, but it has so much storage and counting and counting it makes the Energizer Bunny look like a fat bitch in high altitudes. And I don't forget the needy. I'll be donating 98 free G Mail invitations to the Toys for Tots Foundation. Surely, this gift will springboard 98 tots into becoming 98 Goldman Sachs executives.

In the end, I hope I get some socks. There's millions maybe billions of sock puppets out there being misused while they could be warming my frost bitten toes. I need a toe snuggie.