Prologue: The Encounter

It's out there. An unholy, unwelcome neighbor.
I followed my getting-off-the car-coming-home-from-the-gym routine when the evil sight seized me.
There it was, in front of my door step, mocking my Welcome mat. It knew it was the most unwelcome thing in my guestbook. And, it mocked me.
It was slithering along and as I stopped in my tracks, it stopped in its. A classic quick-draw stare down followed. My muscles tensed, sweat dripping from my forehead (and not because of the gym) yet I was resolute. The goal at hand was clear as day; don't die.
It had most of the advantages; faster, sleeker, slimier, bittier, beadier, eviler and it was dark.
Then the car's white lights turned off. I couldn't see it. I hurried back to the car, quickly turned the ignition and turned the lights steady on. I saw a pen in the cupboard, a chance to even the playing field. I walked toward where my enemy lay and without much thought threw the pen as hard as one could throw such objects.
The blue pen clacked on the sidewalk. I had missed it all together. The snake was gone. But, not far.
And yes, it was gone and I was alive. Still, a deeper hurt lingers.

P.S. Let me just say I had never opened a door with such velocity. Anyone watching must have thought I had something incredible waiting for me inside. Maybe, Miley Cyrus. hmm. wait a minute Miley quit Twitter yesterday and all of sudden there are snakes crawling in my door step. That's too weird to be coincidence. Oh Miley, I know what this is. You're young. I remember in grade school we show affection by slandering, or playfully hitting one another. But, this snake thing is no proper way of showing affection. I rather fight in the Civil War than have that fucker come in here.