On Marriage

This might be a little anticipatory, however, marriage is around the bend for some of us . By historical standards we are past due by several years, especially you ladies out there. Or more acutely-lady, I know only of one women reader. Shout out to Christie.
To clear some of the fog surrounding the swamps of marriage (it could get murky and flat) l have called upon one of the greatest natural-science thinkers, Charles Darwin. Most know Darwin as the father of evolution, turtle lover, catty-sea Captain, and astute bird watcher. But most don't know old Charles was a hopeless romantic. The old dog couldn't help himself, he looovveeed the ladies, ooh yeah. Some call him his era's Barry White. And as such Darwin, as we all should, made a list of the pros and cons of marriage. Here's some:

Pros
Children
Constant companion (friend in old age) who will feel interested in one
Object to be beloved and played with. Better than a dog anyhow
Charms of music and female chit-chat
These things good for one’s health. Forced to visit and receive relations but terrible loss of time.


Cons
Freedom to go where one liked (presumably loss of)
Choice of Society and little of it (presumably loss of)
Conversation of clever men at clubs (presumably loss of)
Not forced to visit relatives and bend in every trifle
Expense and anxiety of children
Perhaps quarrelling
Loss of time
Cannot read in the evenings
Fatness and idleness
Anxiety and responsibility
Less money for books etc.
Perhaps my wife won’t like London; then the sentence is banishment and degradation into indolent, idle fool


Has there ever been a more true list of pros and cons about anything? The correct answer is no, there has not. Just looking ahead a bit I plan to use some of Darwin's pros and cons, I don't he'd mind, as part of my wedding vows to my unknown wife to be. I presume her name will be Matilda.

I, Andres Pino, take you, Matilda Grann, to be an object to be beloved and played with (better than a cat anyhow, sorry Jasmine) even though I'll be endangering my choice to go anywhere and the fancy of conversation of clever men at clubs. I take you my sweet lady, to charm me with music and female chit-chat which are things that are good for one's health. I take you to be my wife even at the expense of having to loose time, bend on trifles, no reading in the evenings, and fatness and idleness. And oh Matilda I'll be the happiest man if you bare my children, even though they are expensive and produce anxiety and I will have less money to buy books. I take you for and despite all these things to be my life's companion. End of vows Q.E.D.

If that doesn't prove true love nothing will.

For further insight the Delphic admonitions, the maxims that I live by, that are not outdated at all, demands in rule 95 (probably the most important maxim); Rule your wife. Indeed. Such veracious statements don't come around these days.
There are many ways to go about this, deserving of its own post, but here's a quickie; As you are starting your day look into your significant other's eyes and sweetly say "If you ever so much as think to cross me in anyway I will make sure you, nay generations of your lineage, will feel my wrath through unequivocal hate, pain and fear, babe. Now how about some coffee." Just part of the recipe for a successful marriage.