Biographies

Browsing through Wikipedia, the world's source for facts, there is a reoccurring trend in modern biographies. People are mainly pictured within the confines of work-related accomplishments. The highly cited being associated with blue-chip companies. Is this how we want to be remembered; as an attaché to a conglomerate? Well, not me. Life is bigger, and grander than working for Microsoft or IBM for 30 years. All biographies should be modeled as this:

Andy Pino, all around good guy and sheep herder, was born to a traditional, yet rare male Father and female Mother family. As a child he studied the classics before commencing to contemporary authors. When he was 5 years old he read most things that are available to read. In his teenage years he was pen pals with F. Scott Fitzgerald and Henry Bolingbroke, Duke of Lancaster. His proudest day was when he helped an elderly women cross a particularly wide street. He's developed theories on quantum physics, metaphysics,zoology and 10 easy steps on how to please your mate but all have been refuted by scholarly blowhards on the basis of being too correct.
The three things he cannot live with out are nitrogen, oxygen and the hydrogen. His favorite atomic number is 36. He practices all major religions diligently and it is widely believed he will be the first Jewish-Muslim-Buddhist Pontiff.
He cannot get enough of orange marmalade and passion fruit jam. Yums.
He is a holistic healer and could be seen preaching new-age medicines in late night infomercials.
Life magazines plans to name him Human of the Year from 2015-2025, which will coincide with his development of the first ever time machine.
In the weekends he plays professional football, basketball, baseball and in the winter months, curling.
He likes Italian food.