As we may or may not know porno descriptions have amused us with their Pre-k spelling and grammar. But, sometimes one stumbles upon innocently into an eye popping wtf blurb of the porno. Please, join me in the journey below.
1. Description: "Cum Harvest."
Reaction: Hmmm, a harvest of cum, no thanks. Let's think about this slowly. Would any girls, nay fuck it, any gays like cum that much to make a harvest out of it. Would they have a cum god? Would said god prefer certain seasons? Would their be a dry season for the cum harvest? In which no cum can be found throughout the land. OK I've written cum enough. Yet, riveting stuff.
2. Description: "World Series of Oral Sex."
Reaction: Question. Can one be judge and contestant in the competition?
This is not a bad idea. Who wouldn't want to see the best blowies. I like to fancy girls bloat about their oral abilities in private with the other lionesses. So why not put a trophy on it. This deserves its on post and extensive research. Also, may I add; borderline genius.
3. Description: "Help Me Cuck!"
Reaction: First, this sounds like a perverted version of Help me Howard in which a cuck or cock helps you get through legal, phsycological and/or physical issues. Still not sure if they spelled cock wrong. I mean, if you're in the porn industry that's one out of the five words you must know how to spell. Right? Righhtt? I hope.
4. Description: "Women of Color: Africa Sexxx."
Reaction: Great, a politically correct porn. This is what happens in post-racial America.
5. Description: "There's a Negro Inside my Wife."
Reaction: After one politically-correct step forward we move 4 back with that one.
6. Description: Ima go ahead and group these together. There was a healthy amount of "sluts," "bitch," "women," getting either plowed, ravaged or impaled. Yes, these words were actually used in the blurbs.
Reaction: I like the adj of plowing, plow or being plowed. So bravo.
Impaled caught my attention. This said "slut," (in some circles she's considered an actress) was impaled. My initial reaction was OMG she needs help, probably urgent medical treatment. According to Merriam-Webster impaled means to "pierce with or as if with something pointed ; especially : to torture or kill by fixing on a sharp stake."..A sharp stake?! What kind of penis was this?! And worse yet she was impaled according to the blurb, does this mean she died at the hand of a very sharp cock?...Ravage. hmm that's the nice way of saying rape.
(to be continued)
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