She's so pretentious that I like it--and I say wait a minute
dont go before I'm gone.
Friday, August 28, 2009
It's not such a bad way of making a living...
Captain Jack came up from the bayou and skidded the plank and offered me advice and a joke. "Please, no thanks I don't want none. I just want to be left alone."
The red badge guy told me I can't have too much of nothing. I stood and felt at ease when I saw Marie in my line of sight coming from the horizon like a shooting star from Neptune's fifth moon.
"come a while and weep for some time with me," no thanks doll it's been written and I read it all.
"Don't be scared of oblivion, you can have some liquid paper to wipe it off." I said hold on a minute doll are you calling me a second chance liar.
"Say hello to destiny, where's your salary?" I looked it straight in the eye, adjusted my gut and commenced with a demanding cry! What can you give me aside from something I already don't know, find yourself another friend, I'll row another boat.
Now, if there's a best friend there must be a worst friend.
Jesus in 2013 Tweets to his prophets all they need. He has a million friends on his social netowokr page and post a thousand things a day! He'll accept you right away and leave a comment of love in your front door step. Don't worry for a thing he's just 3 clicks away from a personal chat, salvation comes easy as long as you're in range.
I got the orange juice blues at night. I drank it all fairly fast and I miss it dearly but the grocery store is closed, oh oh what to do?
What comes first the genius or the legend?
The red badge guy told me I can't have too much of nothing. I stood and felt at ease when I saw Marie in my line of sight coming from the horizon like a shooting star from Neptune's fifth moon.
"come a while and weep for some time with me," no thanks doll it's been written and I read it all.
"Don't be scared of oblivion, you can have some liquid paper to wipe it off." I said hold on a minute doll are you calling me a second chance liar.
"Say hello to destiny, where's your salary?" I looked it straight in the eye, adjusted my gut and commenced with a demanding cry! What can you give me aside from something I already don't know, find yourself another friend, I'll row another boat.
Now, if there's a best friend there must be a worst friend.
Jesus in 2013 Tweets to his prophets all they need. He has a million friends on his social netowokr page and post a thousand things a day! He'll accept you right away and leave a comment of love in your front door step. Don't worry for a thing he's just 3 clicks away from a personal chat, salvation comes easy as long as you're in range.
I got the orange juice blues at night. I drank it all fairly fast and I miss it dearly but the grocery store is closed, oh oh what to do?
What comes first the genius or the legend?
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Question No. 231
Drug Commercials or Best TV on TV.
While I was falling asleep to the usual reality TV shit, I saw one of those drug commercials. You know the usual: riding bikes through a mountain range, holdings hands through a prairie, bathing under a waterfall as a rainbow appears. Then, there's the spin. In this particular case, Miss. Whoever states she and her best friend Mrs. Whomever have been lifelong friends that share the same passions even the same disease!. I can't recall the exact disease. But, I have a theory. The more pleasant the commercial the deadlier the disease.
This was a pretty nice commercial. It made me want to go out and get the disease.
One set of thought led to another, and logically, I stumbled upon the thought of humans seeking other humans that are mirror images of one another. In personality and genealogy.
While I was falling asleep to the usual reality TV shit, I saw one of those drug commercials. You know the usual: riding bikes through a mountain range, holdings hands through a prairie, bathing under a waterfall as a rainbow appears. Then, there's the spin. In this particular case, Miss. Whoever states she and her best friend Mrs. Whomever have been lifelong friends that share the same passions even the same disease!. I can't recall the exact disease. But, I have a theory. The more pleasant the commercial the deadlier the disease.
This was a pretty nice commercial. It made me want to go out and get the disease.
One set of thought led to another, and logically, I stumbled upon the thought of humans seeking other humans that are mirror images of one another. In personality and genealogy.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A Page From Chris Hanson's Diary
August 22, 2009
Dear diary,
Hii there, how you doing?...Oh me, I'm good. Caught 119 predators today. Cha-ching. I totally told all 119 of them to take a seat right over there and that I was Chris Hanson from Dateline MSNBC and we're conducting an investigation into online predators. And oh man! They were all scared shitless. Their glazed eyes reminds me how f-ing awesome it is to be Chris Hanson from MSNBC's Dateline. I'm just beaming with joy dear old diary. Anyways, so this one perv's excuse was that he was doing research for a book! Haha, and I told him well I have the transcript and right here you said....and I went on with my usual awesomeness. Well, more tomorrow have dinner with Greco
Signing off,
Chris Hanson from MSNBC's to Catch a Predator.
Dear diary,
Hii there, how you doing?...Oh me, I'm good. Caught 119 predators today. Cha-ching. I totally told all 119 of them to take a seat right over there and that I was Chris Hanson from Dateline MSNBC and we're conducting an investigation into online predators. And oh man! They were all scared shitless. Their glazed eyes reminds me how f-ing awesome it is to be Chris Hanson from MSNBC's Dateline. I'm just beaming with joy dear old diary. Anyways, so this one perv's excuse was that he was doing research for a book! Haha, and I told him well I have the transcript and right here you said....and I went on with my usual awesomeness. Well, more tomorrow have dinner with Greco
Signing off,
Chris Hanson from MSNBC's to Catch a Predator.
To Catch A Predator: The Great Love Story of Our Lifetime
Harry opened his computer, cracked his fingers and briskly typed his scree name and password. The room was stuffy and small but soon the dampness converted into a cool inner breeze of happiness. QuteKitty was online and it was prime time for horniness. It was business time. Cockzilla messaged QuteKitty.
CockZilla97: hey there, what are you doing today?
QuteKittyyyKat: o not much, hangin bored. u?
CockZilla97: Hmm. today? Nothing much reaallly bored, um kinda horny ;-)
QuteKittyyyKat: ooo yea? mm hotttt. im kinda horny too!
CockZilla97: mm you're a very horny 14 year old, i wish i could please you.
QuteKittyyyKat: Wat are you thinking of nauty????
CockZilla97: I'm tired of just chattin' it's been months, you think we should meet?
QuteKittyyyKat: Hmm, what would we do?
CockZilla97: Well, there's a special time in every 14-year-old girl's life that it is proper and medically recommended have her brains fucked out of her ears.
QuteKittyyyKat: Heehee, kool that sounds so koool.
CockZilla97: Yes, it is cool and surprisingly relaxing, you'll see.
A sudden pang hit Harry. He could not tell if he was just nervous or raging with horniness.
CockZilla97: First, before anything, and I want you to swear on AIM...are you a cop or some type of decoy?
QuteKittyyyKat: I swear on my Facebook page I'm not.
CockZilla97: OK, I completely believe you...but you know you should never swear on your Facebook page. One day it might crash and who will you update on your mundane activities. Trust me you don't want to know that pain. (A sad MySpace memory raced quickly through Harry's mind and made a heavy sigh)...Also, even more pressing, I'm required by law to tell you, after several misfortunes, that using this penis without proper equipment/training may result in death or serious injury.
QuteKittyyyKat was really Katie Steel, an inspiring actress who accepted a gig with Dateline MSNBC to lure men preying online on underage girls. The job entailed not so much as acting but developing a second identity as a crazy horny 14 year old girl. Coming of age and confused by her changing genitalia. Yet, through the show Katie got some TV time and a steady pay check.
CockZilla97: hey there, what are you doing today?
QuteKittyyyKat: o not much, hangin bored. u?
CockZilla97: Hmm. today? Nothing much reaallly bored, um kinda horny ;-)
QuteKittyyyKat: ooo yea? mm hotttt. im kinda horny too!
CockZilla97: mm you're a very horny 14 year old, i wish i could please you.
QuteKittyyyKat: Wat are you thinking of nauty????
CockZilla97: I'm tired of just chattin' it's been months, you think we should meet?
QuteKittyyyKat: Hmm, what would we do?
CockZilla97: Well, there's a special time in every 14-year-old girl's life that it is proper and medically recommended have her brains fucked out of her ears.
QuteKittyyyKat: Heehee, kool that sounds so koool.
CockZilla97: Yes, it is cool and surprisingly relaxing, you'll see.
A sudden pang hit Harry. He could not tell if he was just nervous or raging with horniness.
CockZilla97: First, before anything, and I want you to swear on AIM...are you a cop or some type of decoy?
QuteKittyyyKat: I swear on my Facebook page I'm not.
CockZilla97: OK, I completely believe you...but you know you should never swear on your Facebook page. One day it might crash and who will you update on your mundane activities. Trust me you don't want to know that pain. (A sad MySpace memory raced quickly through Harry's mind and made a heavy sigh)...Also, even more pressing, I'm required by law to tell you, after several misfortunes, that using this penis without proper equipment/training may result in death or serious injury.
QuteKittyyyKat was really Katie Steel, an inspiring actress who accepted a gig with Dateline MSNBC to lure men preying online on underage girls. The job entailed not so much as acting but developing a second identity as a crazy horny 14 year old girl. Coming of age and confused by her changing genitalia. Yet, through the show Katie got some TV time and a steady pay check.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Little Joey ran through the red plaza as old town's sun turned into a mean red. A couple blocks away a violin played a tune of his grandparent's time. He found shade under a ragged quick shop. Went inside and let the afternoon come without a word to the shopkeep and sat crumbled up in a corner. He woke up some time after and went into the twilight to find some early night fun. Walked down the narrow street aligned with flower pots in the small verandas. The old folks had gone to bed by then and he knew Margarita would be waiting by the half broken window.
Hands in his pocket kicking up dust, he worse a grin in his face for no reason. Little Joey got to the half broken window and soot there kinda shy. He threw a a small rock at the broken side and a pretty girl's head soon peeped into the door.
Hands in his pocket kicking up dust, he worse a grin in his face for no reason. Little Joey got to the half broken window and soot there kinda shy. He threw a a small rock at the broken side and a pretty girl's head soon peeped into the door.
Afterall We got Delusion
Upon the white porshe the old manager sat in a stool sipping a coke and Bacardi rum. His young wife, but not much younger than he, swayed to the tropical music as she walked near. He set his drink on the lime table and didn't approve, so she stopped and began to walk. They were on the second day of their week long vacation in Jamaica. So far they had gone to dinner and walked along the shore without much promise of anything else.
"Let's dance, pleeeasse." she pleaded as the wild Caribbean wind picked up his hat from his neat head. "I'm not in the mood please don't ask again, let's just have a good time." His idea of good time was a pleasant evening without interruptions and miscalculations. The late afternoon dragged on as they walked and shopped. Their favorite hobby was buying substitutes for real thrills. Once upon a time they were both afraid of changes but something was stirring inside the young girl.
The next day the sunlight broke through the window and a ray woke them both in the same unexpected way.
It was always so quite and comfortable, why complain when you can drink it in? She thought but it was becoming so boring and predictable.
"Let's go play with the couple from Nevada maybe ride horses around the beach and see new things all together," yet he found something to complain about and made it seem so innocently sensible she never did go out and play. And stayed forever locked in key under a chain and ball she couldn't see. And all I wish for her was that she saw the over yonder in the horizon that laid majestically high above.
A funny complacency came from frowning, judging and itemizing superiority to others to the old young man. His manners were impeccable thus no one intruded into the rudeness with defiance but just took the word as a given truth or in jest but where it was very much intentional.
"Let's dance, pleeeasse." she pleaded as the wild Caribbean wind picked up his hat from his neat head. "I'm not in the mood please don't ask again, let's just have a good time." His idea of good time was a pleasant evening without interruptions and miscalculations. The late afternoon dragged on as they walked and shopped. Their favorite hobby was buying substitutes for real thrills. Once upon a time they were both afraid of changes but something was stirring inside the young girl.
The next day the sunlight broke through the window and a ray woke them both in the same unexpected way.
It was always so quite and comfortable, why complain when you can drink it in? She thought but it was becoming so boring and predictable.
"Let's go play with the couple from Nevada maybe ride horses around the beach and see new things all together," yet he found something to complain about and made it seem so innocently sensible she never did go out and play. And stayed forever locked in key under a chain and ball she couldn't see. And all I wish for her was that she saw the over yonder in the horizon that laid majestically high above.
A funny complacency came from frowning, judging and itemizing superiority to others to the old young man. His manners were impeccable thus no one intruded into the rudeness with defiance but just took the word as a given truth or in jest but where it was very much intentional.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The body came near, her eyes got bigger. Skin of golden red. She hadn't notice what she was doing.
She sat in the edge of the bed pursuing the icebreaker, as I folded up and starred at the two moons she sweared it all for the best. 'You come by so fast, unexpected- it never last- but tomorrow will be the same.' Her body contoured into a delicate mannequin. She tilted her slightly back, faced the wall and began to ask; 'how'd I not know.' She spoke but I couldn't concentrate all I perceived was her silhouette. After the sounds there came a silence, she had said a lot yet my mind was undisturbed. She headed for the bathroom and I went for another beer, did I sense the end was near? Time woulda tell, I reassured as I walked by the old church. 'Don't start thinking now it's never done any good with these sorta things anyhow.' And I walked onto the bay, where we had first laid. For a moment I thought I saw glance beaming from across town, I wished it was her. The ferris wheel had stopped for the night all the couples hand in hand walking passed vibrated with the possibility of joy.
They can't expect much else, I don't know where we're headed and at times like these I wish were a god. The night looked endless and darker than it had before. I walked on without finding much help. 'Was she playing a dirty trick? Distorted imagines ran my mind< i could've never tell, just my confusion grew deeper with every breath.
Three days later, my money was up, I had drank so much I could hardly walk when I saw someone I known before. I hurried through the street the horde of people was thick and busy, steaming with pretension. "Where you been you havn't called, you look so pale and oh those huge bags." Dumbly I replied something about an old white scarf.
I went home that night after my drinking bout to get some shuteye and noticed some stuff had left, I wondered if it really did grow legs or with what will she had--but then there was a knock on my window. This girl said hi, a clean svelte body strode as a gracious puppet.
She sat in the edge of the bed pursuing the icebreaker, as I folded up and starred at the two moons she sweared it all for the best. 'You come by so fast, unexpected- it never last- but tomorrow will be the same.' Her body contoured into a delicate mannequin. She tilted her slightly back, faced the wall and began to ask; 'how'd I not know.' She spoke but I couldn't concentrate all I perceived was her silhouette. After the sounds there came a silence, she had said a lot yet my mind was undisturbed. She headed for the bathroom and I went for another beer, did I sense the end was near? Time woulda tell, I reassured as I walked by the old church. 'Don't start thinking now it's never done any good with these sorta things anyhow.' And I walked onto the bay, where we had first laid. For a moment I thought I saw glance beaming from across town, I wished it was her. The ferris wheel had stopped for the night all the couples hand in hand walking passed vibrated with the possibility of joy.
They can't expect much else, I don't know where we're headed and at times like these I wish were a god. The night looked endless and darker than it had before. I walked on without finding much help. 'Was she playing a dirty trick? Distorted imagines ran my mind< i could've never tell, just my confusion grew deeper with every breath.
Three days later, my money was up, I had drank so much I could hardly walk when I saw someone I known before. I hurried through the street the horde of people was thick and busy, steaming with pretension. "Where you been you havn't called, you look so pale and oh those huge bags." Dumbly I replied something about an old white scarf.
I went home that night after my drinking bout to get some shuteye and noticed some stuff had left, I wondered if it really did grow legs or with what will she had--but then there was a knock on my window. This girl said hi, a clean svelte body strode as a gracious puppet.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Wtf?! Porno Descriptions & Reaction
As we may or may not know porno descriptions have amused us with their Pre-k spelling and grammar. But, sometimes one stumbles upon innocently into an eye popping wtf blurb of the porno. Please, join me in the journey below.
1. Description: "Cum Harvest."
Reaction: Hmmm, a harvest of cum, no thanks. Let's think about this slowly. Would any girls, nay fuck it, any gays like cum that much to make a harvest out of it. Would they have a cum god? Would said god prefer certain seasons? Would their be a dry season for the cum harvest? In which no cum can be found throughout the land. OK I've written cum enough. Yet, riveting stuff.
2. Description: "World Series of Oral Sex."
Reaction: Question. Can one be judge and contestant in the competition?
This is not a bad idea. Who wouldn't want to see the best blowies. I like to fancy girls bloat about their oral abilities in private with the other lionesses. So why not put a trophy on it. This deserves its on post and extensive research. Also, may I add; borderline genius.
3. Description: "Help Me Cuck!"
Reaction: First, this sounds like a perverted version of Help me Howard in which a cuck or cock helps you get through legal, phsycological and/or physical issues. Still not sure if they spelled cock wrong. I mean, if you're in the porn industry that's one out of the five words you must know how to spell. Right? Righhtt? I hope.
4. Description: "Women of Color: Africa Sexxx."
Reaction: Great, a politically correct porn. This is what happens in post-racial America.
5. Description: "There's a Negro Inside my Wife."
Reaction: After one politically-correct step forward we move 4 back with that one.
6. Description: Ima go ahead and group these together. There was a healthy amount of "sluts," "bitch," "women," getting either plowed, ravaged or impaled. Yes, these words were actually used in the blurbs.
Reaction: I like the adj of plowing, plow or being plowed. So bravo.
Impaled caught my attention. This said "slut," (in some circles she's considered an actress) was impaled. My initial reaction was OMG she needs help, probably urgent medical treatment. According to Merriam-Webster impaled means to "pierce with or as if with something pointed ; especially : to torture or kill by fixing on a sharp stake."..A sharp stake?! What kind of penis was this?! And worse yet she was impaled according to the blurb, does this mean she died at the hand of a very sharp cock?...Ravage. hmm that's the nice way of saying rape.
(to be continued)
1. Description: "Cum Harvest."
Reaction: Hmmm, a harvest of cum, no thanks. Let's think about this slowly. Would any girls, nay fuck it, any gays like cum that much to make a harvest out of it. Would they have a cum god? Would said god prefer certain seasons? Would their be a dry season for the cum harvest? In which no cum can be found throughout the land. OK I've written cum enough. Yet, riveting stuff.
2. Description: "World Series of Oral Sex."
Reaction: Question. Can one be judge and contestant in the competition?
This is not a bad idea. Who wouldn't want to see the best blowies. I like to fancy girls bloat about their oral abilities in private with the other lionesses. So why not put a trophy on it. This deserves its on post and extensive research. Also, may I add; borderline genius.
3. Description: "Help Me Cuck!"
Reaction: First, this sounds like a perverted version of Help me Howard in which a cuck or cock helps you get through legal, phsycological and/or physical issues. Still not sure if they spelled cock wrong. I mean, if you're in the porn industry that's one out of the five words you must know how to spell. Right? Righhtt? I hope.
4. Description: "Women of Color: Africa Sexxx."
Reaction: Great, a politically correct porn. This is what happens in post-racial America.
5. Description: "There's a Negro Inside my Wife."
Reaction: After one politically-correct step forward we move 4 back with that one.
6. Description: Ima go ahead and group these together. There was a healthy amount of "sluts," "bitch," "women," getting either plowed, ravaged or impaled. Yes, these words were actually used in the blurbs.
Reaction: I like the adj of plowing, plow or being plowed. So bravo.
Impaled caught my attention. This said "slut," (in some circles she's considered an actress) was impaled. My initial reaction was OMG she needs help, probably urgent medical treatment. According to Merriam-Webster impaled means to "pierce with or as if with something pointed ; especially : to torture or kill by fixing on a sharp stake."..A sharp stake?! What kind of penis was this?! And worse yet she was impaled according to the blurb, does this mean she died at the hand of a very sharp cock?...Ravage. hmm that's the nice way of saying rape.
(to be continued)
The first of its kind
It has occurred to me that with the utmost urgency and importance to establish the first Nobel Peace prize of Comedy. Why?..You ask. Well, has a physicist or a humanitarian ever given you anything? No, they have not. But one great, outstanding man has.
And the first Nobel-Pino Peace prize for comedy goes to Will Ferrell. It was an easy decision for the committee which is mostly me and Jasmine had some input. This outstanding man has given so much and asked for so little. Personally, beside 2Pac no one has shaped my life more. They, especially Ferrell taught me how to be a man's man. Not just any man's man but an anchorman. Yes, tis' true, we can all be anchormen. Except those sporting vagines, of course. I've laughed, cried, thrown things at the TV from fits of rage but all the while being inspired by Mr. Ferrell.
And the first Nobel-Pino Peace prize for comedy goes to Will Ferrell. It was an easy decision for the committee which is mostly me and Jasmine had some input. This outstanding man has given so much and asked for so little. Personally, beside 2Pac no one has shaped my life more. They, especially Ferrell taught me how to be a man's man. Not just any man's man but an anchorman. Yes, tis' true, we can all be anchormen. Except those sporting vagines, of course. I've laughed, cried, thrown things at the TV from fits of rage but all the while being inspired by Mr. Ferrell.
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