When historians look back on May 1 in the life of the great shoemaker Andy Pino, they will undoubtedly be remembered of the great tyranny of Theddy the Mongerer.
I, a gentle, kind, warm, warm hearted,innocent individual actually doing a favor for the bastard and he repays me how?!
Taking the only thing dear and true to my heart, the hot pockets and the eggos.
Really?! Realllly?!!? It was like half a bag of Eggos man. And you know I depend on them for survival. Mere survival. It's tough out here in these streets for a pimp in a shrinking economy.
But after you take the children you must take my manhood by taking the "car" as well. The hot pockets?! :::sobbing, angrily typing::...I thought you cared! Four years!! And you take the hot pockets!?!? You bastard...I- I'am speechless.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
No One I think Is In my Tree, I mean It must Be High or Low
Today's themes: stupidity, madness and genius.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
El Gran Maestro de Hialeah
Cuando Pepito Rodriguez construllo la primera casa en Hialeah, no sabia la importancia que
Death Letter
I got a letter this mornin' whatdaya reckon' it said. Got a letter this morning, said I was dead. I got the swine flu, and I aint even home yet.
Friends, foes, lovers, in these tough times (where the poon at?) the going gets tougher. I don't trust public water (I have a well) thus I do not wash my hands often. And as you undoubtedly seen on CNN or whatever you people watch, it is fucking crucial to wash your hands in order not to get swine flue. But wait, the abyss is deep and dark. I have never admitted this but I love Mexican ghettos and I love to hang out in farms even more. Once you connect the dots, gentle reader, one notices my fateful demise. I've been taking Advil for the swine flu so far and drinking plenty of herbal tea. I expect to be 110 percent within a week or otherwise dead. There shall be no in between. The middle is for the spineless. Anyways...I've taken to old delta blues during these most trying of times. I, much like a segregated, old African American in Lousiana, suffer. The swine flu hurts. Mostly in my extremities, and it makes me look like Benjamin Button. I plan to enter Disney's Make A Wish Foundation's list. I've been pondering what would make the best wish. Angelina Jolie and Janet Reno quickly come to mind. Well, I will think on and inform la masa.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Blue Veins
Things that make it big in America are made though brass balls. And I, possess such set of testies. I feel my good luck should be running out but much like an gine I think I can run 50 for miles on E.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
If I Cared
If I cared about you I wouldn't have slept with that Donkey.
But she had such a huge ass.
And I couldn't hold myself back.
From her black, behind.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
A Screwdriver, a Bed and Two Men...Co-Starring Lamy the llama.
Teddy fucked bilal with a screwdriver.
A Ladder to Nowhere
In the town of Gulchrist a wooden ladder with 5 steps hovered in the sky day in and day out. No one was able to reach for the ladder. Once, the town built a great ladder to reach the mystical ladder but its distance seemed never to get closer. So, they stopped trying after 300 feet. Eventually, everyone accepted the ladder. After some years, the younger citizens would write poems and songs about the ladder.
But one boy, Coda, he hated the ladder. He could not bare that the ladder led nowhere. That it was just a ladder without a purpose.
Friday, April 24, 2009
A joker, Pepe, killed his wife the frog. She was a yellow frog. And the lack of darker tones bothered Pepe so he shot her in the heart. After burrying the body beneath the local McDonald's, along with all the others, Pepe drove to Florida to meet with his scoundrel of a friend El Comandante.
Mikael Garcelovsky known as el Comandante was a well respected underground revolutionary. By 22 he had revolutionized economic sectors such as the online poker industry and inflatible pornstar doll manufacturers. Pepe the joker had a cunning plan he had to tell the comandante at once.
At the comandante's layer. The guard, a stout man who goes by Uncle Jimmy guarded the studio that el comandate called The Kingdom.
"What's the password, brother?"
"Fosters. Fuck Bud Light."
:All right, yyeeaah, all right I like that yeah you're alright."
"Let me in Jimmy!"
"Yeah, yeah okay okay"
How are thou Jimmy?
(Once inside The Kingdom Jimmy could speak freely)
"I'am splendid, indeed. Have you read the latest New Yorker's Shouts & Murmurs? It's quite the riot. Ha -ha-ha," Jimmy laughed on. "Well old chap, the comandante is having his 5 p.m. tea, go right in."
The ghostly figure sat in the kitchen table, showing no signs of aging.
"I come for business and business only comandante, I will not partake in your sexy parties."
"Proceed," El Comandante instucted.
"There is a plant somewhere in the United States that harbors healing powers," El Comandante's eyes widened with intrigue.
"I believe I could locate this plant with your help, and then we could make millions selling it as medicine to sick children and dogs."
"Hmm...this tickles my fancy," el comandante said. "But, it would be hypocrtical of me to sell such a medicine instead of healing all, while witholding my utopian ideals. Yet, millions of dollars could get me into the World Series of Poker."
The dilemma rages on next time, whenever I feel like finishing it. I might not. Feel free to do it yourself. Bitches.
On a hazy Boston winter morning Marie cried in the park. She had left her boyfriend on rumors that he was cheating on her. Now, crying in a swing set watching the sunset she thought how she never sees the sunset. After some thought, she couldn't think of the last time she saw a sunrise. ..Maybe 14 or 15 years ago
The Adventures of Koko the Autistic Koala
Howdy mates I'm Koko the auutistic kooala. I wiiill teach you about au-autiiism noooww.
It is baaaad. And it makes Koko a depressed, suicidal kooaala. I beliieevee it'd be best to senf 5 dollars/euros to the owner of this blog.
Verdammt Genie!!
Willkommen!! Bob the Pirate Parrot said to the new German Lovers, Hialeah Chapter.
"Friends, in my quest to master this delicate yet authoritative language a great revelation has revealed itself to me. "
"German, and those who love it, are superior to all other cultures and languages. " Bob was flapping his wings violently now and his voice's timbre was hitting a passionate tone.
"As the inherited leaders of the world and possibly the universe, we must cleanse."
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A Curious Parrot
Bob the curious parrot wanted to learn a different language. He did not know which language. Something sophisticated and sexy...hmm... he though on....thinking....French? That would be trite of him. Spanish? No, Mexicans caused the economic meltdown. German? Yes! Perfect!! It's everything I want in a language. ...
A Midafternoon's Daydream
Markus Aquarius joined an acting troupe on the last week of June. At 33 he looked young and plump, like a grape. As a recovering sex addict he tried to shelter himself from temptations . Once while in church a bald man gave him a brown book filled with secrets. In it, the omniscient author explained all mysteries of life. By 23, Aquarius understood the answers to all the rhetorical questions he thought of as a boy. The effect, although enlightening, did not fill the vast emptiness he felt. After years of failed suicides and starring at white walls, Markus set out to discover the ultimate mystery...But, later that day Teddy the gay panda invited Markus over for some pie.
"Take two slices," Teddy said. "I made it just for you."
"No, really?" Markus chuckles twigging his thumbs.
That's not the only thing I made for you.
Teddy's paws felt warm and fuzzy on Markus' neck.
"Did I tell you I bought new socks? Perhaps we should eat the pie in my bedroom, under the sheets."
...2 hours later.
"You have filled me," Aquarius whispered in the panda's ear.
"Fuck yeah I did, Make love!"..."I want to make love to your asshole
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
For My Germ-X
Thank you, Germ-X for your moisture and vitamin E, but most of all thank thee for killing 99.9 percent of germs*. I'll assume the asteriks indicates it's really 110 percent.
I can clean my dirty hands anytime because of you, Germ-X.
Why?
I don't hate much, I try to exude positive vibes like a koi pond. But, lord all mighty why oh why are some commercials ridiculously loud? My normal tv programming, Book-TV, is playing fine and the volume is at a smooth 22. This commercials comes on and at the same volume it sounds like Dolby 5.1 surround sound shit. That makes me want to shit on their product and/or service. I don't remember right now what commercial it was but I'm hoping it was Life Alert ;-)...No, friends (and foes) I would not shit on an elderly person. The only way to survive as a species is to stop this ear-drum genocide.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Watching the wheels...
I was listening to Sir Tupac Amuru Shakur and his prophetic "Changes." Indeed, there will be no black president, so long as McCain is out office. Anyways, it got me thinking how important it is to welcome change into your life. As we each reflect on 4/ 20 and rejoice and give thanky to the lordy for providing such bountiful green fields in earth. Hence, I guess what I'm trying to say is don't let them coppers jack you up when they see your cell phone. I propose we change everything we do. Clothing optional. Why arent three-way's more common? Every girl I've seen has appeared to enjoyed it, thoroughly. Would it really be that bad to have a pet monkey? I think not. They are slightlier more inteligent retards. And as we know from the cinema, disabled people make for great story lines and Oscar worthy performances. At its worst maybe you'll squeeze out a screenplay out of it.
Happy 4/20
The day carries a pungant bitter sweet smell. It must be spring when all the green and goodness of nature comes out to play. It's a hazy day.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Part End
So D and C, el comandante, followed two girls into a cave.
Smells of roses that once remained.
"I will make you a Queen," C said.
The bronze girl stood pretty and silent.
While Diangelo of Llareggub was too aggressive with the Russian blonde.
He noticed her thighs where too white under the cave's sun.
Excuse me, but I must go. I'm a lonely pirate and this cave's booty is not where it's at.
I believe you already belong to me, a strange dialect said.
All has been quite too romantic he thought as D walked into the mohaganny girl and el comandante making sweet love.
For happiness, I certainly hope, He moped.
"C, across the steet there are
He let her go.
"Which side are you on?" the girl asked.
Is this some kind of joke. It is rather lame.
Let me explain. An orange van gogh told me to go to Peru.
It's in the altitude really, it is quite complicated, he explained.
Fields of low eyed lady plow lands he sure did promise.
Now, hurry the ship left yesterday.
What about them?
We'll send invitations.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Because some wonder. Welcome to Counting Sheep
and I don't know that many numbers. Sleeping on borrowed time.
I, no, sleep, at, all...#$& 7's n 9's its where its @. Keep your bank statements neat, you know, she's keeping score. I wish the highscore belonged to all but for now I want out of the race, to all good luck.
Do I write for her, me, it or you? The mouth it moves and laughs because I never knew it anyhow and it knows.
My dream job is to be a Pope of Everything that Doesn't Matter.
Please, defy it.
Red Layla, is my only sweet lady. Let me tell you about her.
4 pinkish lines rest on one of the Dylan's. Dont worry my rainbow nose is good manners,
in the low eyed country. Who knew you can have so much fun with a plastic card in the still of the night.
And now me, he, she and us, we must go. I'm late for my mind's matinee puppet show.
Someone told me once to be careful for a clutter of words. I didnt' understad the man, so I kept walking to the cereal store. I said I'm a cow and I want a job. OK, great, we start at 5, a couple people said. Just sit by the whole milk chair. There I decided, no
Thanks
but maybe no, I believe I'm only 2 perecent.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Exciting News. I will Save you.
I've been starving myself lately due to work. In the process, I decided to start my own branch of religion.
So I guess you would like a little taste of the Word. In my version, we are going to have Adam and Eve but they wont be called Adam and Eve instead they are Time and Space.
Monday, April 13, 2009
A Friendly Thief
Why do some people want to steal your friends? I don't know but I do know those people are out there, i.e. Bilal or "billy goat cheese." The commodity is one of white friends which I don't have many of. I wouldn't blame him, not many Caucasians would like to be his friend and Mike, the prey, is extremely susceptible toward masked predators. So, what does a sex offender want with an innocent white male? Well, I don't want to wait around to find out. I'm strapin my gloc and packing my kitchen knifes, I'm coming for you biatch.
Silly, rabbit. Benjamins, are for Me!
Christie, my first disciple has made the ridiculous mistake of thinking I have 50 cents in my bank account. No, no, no, my friends. I still ball like Iverson baby, OK? As some of you may know, I have hundreds. Several. Not really, I'm doing really bad man. Can you send some money?
Ask teddy people, all I eat is tuna, once a day! Have you read The Old Man the Sea? I feel like that old man but I'm 21.
I was not going to say anything but I must confess...
Teddy steals my money. I can't help it, he said that he would harm me and Jasmine if I tried to stop him. How do you think he bought a 60 inch LCD TV? How do you think he's able to afford an unlimited amount of pop tarts/Eggo's/Twinkies? Someone, please help. This is kind of like the pirate situation but in Florida in an apartment. But, he has the advantage. I have no weapons, and in a sword fight I feel I would loose. Teddy is quite graceful. It is a delight to watch him move about the house sometimes. Maybe, when he does his time in prison and becomes a neo Nazi he will become an underwear model. Who knows. One of us will be perusing through the boxer section in Macy's and all of sudden see a picture of teddy's crotch wrapped in skintight Calvin Klein underwear. The last laugh would be on us wouldn't it? I guess, just me. Maybe, Marko too.
OMFG Homies!!
I have just gotten word that a bear in Berlin has attacked a women several days ago becuase of the global warming crisis. Look if I was Obama these would be my top 5 priorities...
1) Somali Pirates
2) Polar Bears
3) Making me a poker pro ( I have 50 cents in my account people come on).
4) Legalize it. Nuf said.
5) Economy.
Get to it Obama.
The most important question men will ever ask themselves?
So we are in a recession, right? And since I will be a college graduate soon and the job market has been F'd in the A, I have been thinking ways in which to make money. While one thing lead to the other I came upon the thought wether women watch porn like men? Perhaps, not in a regular basis but is it uncommon? There's a whole fucking market there if they do to be shoved with ideas. Some questions linger. Like, will a girl admit that she watches pornography? What type of girls watch porn and do we want to contribute to their sad lifes? That might be an ethical question to chew over dinner tonight. Well, ok, let's say they do like it. But, what?? I'm guessing a straight girl wants to see a guy bang a girl. I dont know, maybe not, I'm open for feedback.
The quest continues
Our heroes, I believe, left off in the hunt for elusive Brazilian booty. During the third day a tempest rocked their boat almost into the blackness of the deep ocean. However, they arrived in Brazi,l in a beautiful beach where two girls were waiting for them. The shorter girl, a tanned local girl was very pretty or should I say bangin'. The surprise came from the second girl, a fair skinned tall blonde with green eyes. We said Hello and that our intentions is to take they booty. She said her name was Marina Karinskshka. He said, "beautiful...short and sweet."
To be concluded.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Help Me Help Them
Polar Bears are dying because of you. That adorable fur ball loves to snuggle at night and he is crazy about Coke. Global warming is killing the polar bears my friends and we are global warming. I've noticed we have gotten warmer. For example, have you sat next to Teddy lately? For some reason, probably global warming, his thighs are very hot. The situation could get sticky. I digress. I want to challenge my two followers and my future ones to make a conscious effort to be cooler. We must become a cooler species. For their survival and there I say ours.
The most immediate solution would most likely be to replicate me. I think I'm pretty cooool guy. But we do not want a bunch of girls acting like me, do we? No we do not.
Or look in right above. That polar bear is pretty cool, he is just chillen there. Try to slouch more often in public places hence appearing more relaxed which will lead others to think you are as cool as the winds of the Himalayas.
And beside all the benefits above, we have the incentive of reserving the polar bear's home. Where are those fuckers going to live? I'll tell you. They'll most definitely swim down to South Florida where they will try to assimilate into Hispanic culture but they fail horrifically due to their large stature and thick Germanic accents. This will then lead them to go rampant for blood to avenge for their displacement. History has shown displaced animals are not happy campers. And since I care so much about these fellow mamals (Mamals for Lyfee!!!!yay yay!), I will be willing to receive money to be more and more cool for the sake of the polar bears.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
All el comandante wanted was some Brazilian booty. He sighed, then started whimpering and finally began sobing like a woman. Diangelo, another local pirate saw his friend cry and laughed a little. But then, he comforted him.
"I'll cheer you up coman, I know how badly you want Brazilian booty, as much as I yearn for Russian milk. And drink the Russin milk from the Brazilian booty we shall. I've heard of the greatest brazilian booty of all, called Delila. They say it is so magical that a man will choose to stop being a man for its sake!"
"We must go at once make haste!" El comandante said.
"We need a ship to get to brazil, silly."
"Uh, yeah"
"Well, I guess I can prostitute myself and buy a boat."
"Yes, that seems like the option that is best from all the correct answers."
Diangelo the Pirate and El Comandante: In Search of Delila's Booty
Diangelo the Pirate and El Comandante: In Search of Delila's Booty
Starring Michael Garcell as El Comandante and
Andres Alejandro Pino Pino the 3rd as: Diangelo the Pirate
Delila: ?
El comandante sat in a lonely bar with a whiskey sour in front of him...he was pist! It was winter and he was paler
than usual..
Copyright No. 1
Throughout my college career ,which I will opt to come back for another semester to bring back to UF more medicore grades with me one more time, I have said and writen several genius phrases, quips, and created several inventions.
Copyright No.1 :
Nashty:..Adj..: the description applied to a person, object, or thing that is being as nasty when Nash is rainin tres and blockin mofos hence being in the state of nashtiness.
As used in a sentence: Andy is nashty becuase he pimps all day and hustles all night.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Exploring Penguin Style
It's Tuesday evening, I'm basking in the glory of my newfound celebrity and then I come across this picture. What I was searching for in Google Images is not important. First, let's get somethings out of the way. I'm not sure this is how penguins fuck nor do I agree with the rocky location the male penguin laid his lady.
However, the important thing is that penguins have created a new sex style that might bring world peace and end world hunger. From hours of observation and experimentation, certain things are clear. It is a combination of the plow-driver/doggystyle/ and perhaps some beak pulling. In order for the position to work for humans be sure to have stretched your muscles at least 20 minutes. Then the woman must lay in her back facing the man and be able to twist her neck and chest to make an S shape. I must imagine at first this step will be uncomfortable. Next, after the female penguins has spread her fins or whatever the male pengin must become part crouching tiger part hidden dragon (as seen above). This particular penguin decided to place his umm hands? in the female's booty. One may choose to do this during Penguin Style or perhaps grab the woman's beak.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Fun In the Sun
Just as expected, thousands of offers were e-mailed to me in a matter of seconds. Due to a shower fetish an interested bidder had (I'll give you a hint it starts with M ends with O and rhymes with Serrano) I have posted quite the risque photograph entitled Fun In the Sun.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
As you all know the world economy has taken a plunge into a pool of shit. And, I, too hurt from the recession. I feeeeeeel your pain Detroit auto workers. So in order to support my habitual balla lifestyle I have decided to sell myself. The idea came to me when I remembered a girl in Nevada or somewhere got much press for selling her virginity through the Internet. Well, for now I will post some pictures. There will be more to come to beef up my resume. Whoever is the highest bidder, wins. I only accept cash. Thank you for understand the nature of the situation.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Can someone Help me?!
Today I left my iPhone at home and I need to make phone calls to people but I can't find the screen which I can touch thus make calls and browse through the Internet. Where the fuck is it?! How do these people use these machines they call phones? With gaudy picture quality and low Internet speed.
-sad in gainesville, andy
Saturday, April 4, 2009
a Rabbit's Love Affair
There was a rabbit in a city with red lights who loved a fox with a long tail. Bugs Bunny was the foxy lady's husband and he didn't know the rabbit came at night. Loony Tunes was taken its toll on the relationship, there had been less and less sex....
Got Money Revisited
"She wants to rape Wayne...and Ima let her."
It's been quite obvious (0obviously) for some time that Lil' Wayne is the great scholar of our generation. With a voice like a horn he reflects all the subtle and and apparent trends in our society. I invite any opponent of the latter to YouTube "Got Money," and then tell me if he is not the songbird of our generation.
"I need a Winn-Dixie grocery bag full of money delivered to the V.I.P. section."
Dr. Weezy F. Baby "Please say the Baby," is commenting on the societal status of the middle to lower classes. First, he wants a Winn Dixie bag full of money given to him when he is in the VIP section of a nightclub. Dr. Wayne is playing Robin Hood in these riveting lyrics and the reader must delve deep between the words. And why a Win Dixie bag to a VIP section would he not want a nicer bag? Perhaps a Coach bag, or a Publix bag, maybe even a CVS bag (I like those). But, no he wants an everyday ugly brownish Winn Dixie bag. Also, it is no coincidence Winn-Dixie was going through bankruptcy at the time. Obviously, Mr. Wayne was being influenced by Marxist ideals and a liberation of the arts. And all of this is within two sentences.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Love and Basketball in Orlando: Post Game Analysis
We went, we saw, we did not want to conquer. I know it is vulgar to generalize but this particular bunch of Orlands were of trashy nature. The drive was luke warm. It was neither fun nor boring. So yeah I guess that means it was luke warm. We were late and we knew it. lol. The arena is neatly placed in the middle of a ghetto without the usual misplaced stores and restaurants. It was lovely, observing the similarities and differences between Orlando's ghetto and Miami's ghetto is something I can finally check off my to do list. To be honest with you, whoever you are, if there is a you, and myself, I recall the entire experience as 3 bathroom brakes, standing in line for drinks, 5 plays and the Magic being up by 30 all of a sudden. There was Howard's nasty Bron pack that led me to take off my shirt and pour beer over my chest while I screamed, "Nasttyyyy!!!!!." I'm sure ESPN edited out the footage but it was passionate. And so came the expected...
LeBron's invitation to his hotel room. He smelled extra musky after the game, I couldn't bring my mouth to say no. But first we decided to grab some martinis and sushi. Delicious. He paid, of course, and he has always been a generous tipper. I think that's what first attracted me to Bron Bron. We arrived at the Holiday Inn and Brony inserted the credit card the lady at the lobby gave us to buy the door and let us into the confines of the room.
A second later my mind, soul and body were simultaneously broken, once I saw Bilal coming out of the bathroom while Mo Williams laid in bed. By looking around I knew a lot of baking or cooking had taken place from the empty industrial sized Crisco can placed on top of the desk.
"Holiday Inn too huh?" I said coolly.
He looks down with shame.
"Youz my bitch! Not Mo's. I traded with Mo mo for this ass and he should know better."
Bilal started crying.
"Cry not biatch for I have forgiven you." I slapped him thrice and then placed his head on my bosom. "Let's go home now," I whispered in his ear.
And so we took the road heading north and felt good.
That is my Cavaliers-Magic game experience.
Love and Basketball in Orlando
It's almost 5 and we have not left yet. I'm almost sure Theddy is still in his usual 5 p.m. slumber. There is an unholy game of woman's basketball on the tele, but I'm too lazy to change the channel. Better save energy for the trip. You never know what you will encounter in Orlando. We are traveling with a Jew and an Iraqi, things can get funny. I'm still wondering if I should go back to Lebron's hotel room when he will undoubtedly ask. We'll see I guess, I might want to come home to play Yahoo Grafiti.
Feed Me Dwight Howard
Dwight. Jump, jump high and may your sweet sweat drips splash on my cheeks.
From my proximity to you, I drink your nutrients and feel like Superman.
And is it m fault afterall for being such a balla?
I can't help it.
I ball out out of control and buy arena sections.
Don't punish me world, for being a six figga nigga.
what?
I think I'm hearing the Simpsons but I'm really not. Flat footed monster trashes the party and the girls dance when there is chaos. Get Born. Please her. Believe in something, they'll find a scandal.
...
"...and if my thought dreams can be seen they probably would put my head in a guillotine. But it's alright ma, it's life and life only."
Thursday, April 2, 2009
A Plead
I'm a poker superstar. I need funding to dominate the poker world. Please contribute to the Andy Assossiation for Poker Playing of America (AAPPA). I promise at least double the money and much like Dominoes, if I don't have it to you in 30 minutes or less then it is on the house. The organization is developing a grassroots movement built on small donations from normal Americans. Take advantage of this opportunity and please send contact my email and then you could send a check to my apartment.
The Ins and the Outs
Above we have the School of Athens by Renaissance master Rafael. As most of us know the Renaissance was a long time ago. Is it not time we have a series of masters of different schools of thought. First, we must commiserate enlightning School of Miami. In the center Trick Daddy will stand along with Pitbull, Trina, DJ Khaled, Lil Jon and T-Pain. The setting of course os the flea market in which these scholars once all exchanged ideas far beyond their time.
Your A Big Girl Now
"I been double-crossed now for the very last time and now I'm finally free,
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry." - Dylan
I kissed goodbye the howling beast on the borderline which separated you from me.
You'll never know the hurt I suffered nor the pain I rise above,
And I'll never know the same about you, your holiness or your kind of love,
And it makes me feel so sorry." - Dylan
The Ritual
Celtic Pride died today. I burned Pierce's jersey in front of an Irish pub. I played Scottish music and drank Jamaican beer.
So, why do I hate the Celtics with such gravitas? Somehow they have culminated into an entity made of people whose faces you want to punch for no reason. It is quite perplexing and that sentence if properly made, boggled the mind.
There is an individual who deserves special attention, Mrs. Paul Pierce. Lady Pierce is quite the gentile flower.
An Ode to Theddy
Theodore!
Teddy, Theodore, gay bitch. You have had many nicknames but only one is the Bookmark in my heart's file cabinet: gentle lover. Theddy, you move as gracefully as a ballerina. You sting like belladonna and love chocolate more than most people love anything. And round so round. Like the circle of life you go on and on and on subjects. Now it is funny.
If you were a sitcom you would be rated TV-14 for your constant semi nudity. I take it as your way of subtley flirting with Bilal and I. And what more can I say but about your look. You stare into ones eyes like seeking white peebles in the ocean. I like his spaghetti. And his armpits never stink. He is a very clean big man. Much like a big cat. I must imagine fat cats lick themselves more. He licks himslef a lot in his own way. His voice is sweet like Tyson's and liberates his nippples to gusting winds.
Hey Ma
Today was a difficult day. I came out today. I told my mom I was going to be a blogger. She couldn't believe it at first and thought of it as a joke. But she stared into my eyes and knew I was for really. "You douchy douche! Writing about 10 cent thoughts like any one cares," she whispered. "It's my dream Ma!" I made my Blogger account already. I made a confirmation question, things are pretty official," I said. To shorten 3 hours; she cried, I cried, then someone laughed and we forgot alll about it but then we started crying again once we saw that Peta commercial. My eyes are starting to hurt?...Can you work out your eyes? Imagin having strong ass eye lids. haha, nice side note.
Agent No.2: The Beauty of S
As you can clearly tell from above I'm attempting to exhibit the mystical beauty of the "S." Some call it the swan shape. But, unfortunately I don't believe in swans. I digress. Perhaps a man could achieve this S shape but women are the true contenders. The misses above is obviously proud of her perfect figure and is gracious enough to share her art with us. I do not know what it is or who's god instilled this on us but we like curves and shapes....very much. A nice ass (see above) is a shape yet is is wonderful and makes me forget about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict for a moment.
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